What Women Want: Listen with Your Heart
By Gary Smalley
Tips for Men
1. Make and keep eye contact. Few things assure your loved one that you are listening
closely more than making eye contact. Without making it seem like you are staring through her,
lock your eyes on hers and listen to what she has to say.
2. Cease all other activity. When your loved one wants to talk to you—when she has
something very important to talk to you about and needs your undivided attention—make sure
you can do it in an atmosphere free of other activity.
3. Let your loved one know you are being attentive. In addition to keeping eye contact,
let her know that you are listening closely and attentively by acknowledging what she’s saying
through head nods and other signs of attentiveness.
4. Speak occasional words of agreement or understanding. While you listen to your loved
one, it is good to interject words that communicate that you understand how that person feels.
Simple statements such as, “I can see how you would feel that way,” or “I would feel the same
way myself” can do much to communicate that you are listening with you heart.
5. Ignore all interruptions. Sometimes a man and his loved one need to get to a place where
there is no chance they will be interrupted so they can jus talk. When you take the time to listen
with your heart, try to do it where you won’t be interrupted.
How women say men can become experts at listening with their hearts:
▪ “Solve problems with me, not for me.”
▪ “Just listen. Give me a chance to voice my inner thoughts and feelings.”
▪ “Listen without offering unsolicited advice or blame.”
▪ “Teach me your problem solving skills.”
▪ “If you don’t understand what I’m saying, ask me questions.”
▪ “Offer feedback that says you understand what I’m telling you.”
▪ “Be compassionate as you listen.”
▪ “Resist laughing or mocking me in what I have to say.”
▪ “Offer me advice with humility.”
▪ “Use facial expressions and body language so that I know you’re really hearing me.”
Rekindle the Joy
of Being Married
Marriages hold no joy for couples who feel stuck. But they hold infinite happiness for couples
who learn to celebrate their one-of-a-kind love. The fifth of the 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love is
Celebrating Love.
Celebrating love revels in the emotional, physical, and spiritual connections that bond you to
your spouse. It’s a love that protects you and your spouse from drifting apart and enables you to
fall in love and feel discovered all over again. Celebrating love rejoices daily in the marriage you
have and helps you feel cherished and captivated by each other.
Ideas for Celebrating Your Husband
• Send him off and welcome him home with a smile and a kiss.
• Write down a list of reasons why you love him, then share the list with him over a
romantic dinner.
• Buy attractive new nightwear for yourself – and hide his!
Ideas for Celebrating Your Wife
• Compliment her, especially for the little things.
• Give her a head-to-toe massage.
• Send her cards or love letters.
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